Des blagues en Ricain

Recently, when I went to McDonald's. I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

 "We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the counter.

 "You don't?" I replied.

 "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

 "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"

 "That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

 The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago.

I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items  and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.

I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for  the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do  you know how much this is?" and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today". She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.....

MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE !!!

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When inquired as to what she was doing, she  said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you  need  some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the  battery  to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit  this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this  remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took  the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries?  It's a long walk.

 Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day  she  was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.

 What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.

 With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was  towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the  whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

 Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for  a dollar.

IDIOTS & COMPUTERS

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems  with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of  my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE

I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became  visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes,not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was  very disappointed.

 AND NOW MY FAVORITE

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy  machine.

The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working,  the suspect confessed.

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage  resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was  unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy  military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields.

He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long straight stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO! The facts as best could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within five seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G forces usually reserved for dogfighting F- 14 jocks under full afterbumers, basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater three feet deep in the rock.